i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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