So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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