we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
