you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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