She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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