Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
