Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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