I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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