Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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