Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
