mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
