Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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