We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
