so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't deserve a penis
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
