K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
