What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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