I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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