winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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