Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
