did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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