If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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