Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
