in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
