That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
