I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
