I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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