Where is the hickey?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My feet surprised me
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