Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
