yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
