She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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