just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
