My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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