maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
