You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
