You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
