Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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