Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
