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  this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word

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• HA! Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1847.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:04am

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  • im sure beer has been around longer

    Submitted by sp1nnermann on Mar 8, 10 at 10:51pm

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    • Nah, that's when sex was invented.

      Submitted by JohnSinclair on Mar 28, 11 at 6:59pm

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• Way to stay off topic "diceman". The real Andrew Dice Clay will be over to kick your ass shortly.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:06am

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• I think my roommate does this to girls

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:38pm

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• Milk is a bad choice

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:09am

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• gotta love portland guys hahaha!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 6:00pm

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• yeaaaa classy man right there

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:06am

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• Totally have this on a necklace

  Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 15, 10 at 1:52pm

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• I immediately thought of Against Me! as well. I love them.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:11pm

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• This text is funny...in America.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:14pm

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• And there isn't something in this post about him leaving with his balls kicked up to his larynx why???

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:07am

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• I love this guy hahahahah

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 3:33am

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• the girl should accept that she prolly looks like ground beef, and should be glad she got some. dude didnt have to clown her, but still, ugly people know they're ugly, it's not new information to them.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:39am

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• that's just wrong on so many levels lol

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 2:32pm

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• No girl would actually send in a text that insulted herself like this. Its either fake, or the guy sent it in....which kind of makes him a dickwad on two levels, not just the one.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 4:36am

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• Wow....what a dick. He probably has a small one, too.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:32am

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• Oh I get it! It's funny because that is something very rude that you would say to someone who you did not hope to see again! -Jeff

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:35pm

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• Get that plastic surgery!!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 2:12pm

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• Pretty sure that's websters definition of a gentleman

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 2:06pm

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• Confidence booster waddup

  Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 26, 10 at 2:23pm

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• Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To fetch her poor dog a bone But when she bent over, ROVER TOOK OVER! And gave her a bone of her own! DICEMAN

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:02am

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• THIS IS HYSTERICAL!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:08am

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• I have this shirt...got laid in it 6 out of the 7 times I've worn it

  Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 10, 10 at 3:41pm

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• Oh wait, I fail. Didn't read it right

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:24pm

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• he said "this probably is the worst decision that I've ever made" she laughed and smiled, then said "i'm sure you do this all the time right right right RIGHT?" we all know where it went from there. Gotta love Against Me! I'm sure that dude was a fan.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 1:12pm

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• "You Look Like I Need A Drink" is also the name of a good song by Against Me.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:11am

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• This is mad funny :D

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:15pm

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• "Wanna know how I got these scars? Joker" I know it's just him being a douche, but this is actually apropos this time...

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:48am

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• 6:57 pm I love you. 5:35 pm If you're not a native English speaker, cool, but if you are, are you trying to be ironic or something?

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 6:44pm

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• what a good fucking song...

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 3:18am

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• That's really sad :( What a jerk.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:26am

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• 11:04 Nice job copying a fucking keychain. Poor girl. Hopefuly the lay was alright.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 6:57pm

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• Seems pretty harsh to me.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:06am

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• Hahahhahhahahahahahhaha....

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:16pm

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• Wooo 11:11 I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought of that. Against Me! FTW!!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:51am

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• LMFAO...SO FUKIN HILARIOUS

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 3:20pm

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• One night stand "FAIL"!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:40am

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• i sometimes wonder why people put "good night" to these

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 9:41pm

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  • well she did get laid

    Submitted by baine5 on Feb 11, 10 at 9:34pm

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• i dont know who you hooked up with but he is awesome

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 12:01am

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• If I had a nickle.. -Bradon

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 6:22pm

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• bahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ah ha ha ooooh sucks to be her

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 5:14pm

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• Against Me! song was what I thought of. If a guy said that to me I'd be kinda happy he was probably an fan also. lol

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 12:48am

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• What happens in 971?

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 4:37pm

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• 11:11 : exactly my thoughts!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 1:04pm

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• Definitely an against me! Song. Let the douche leave for trying to take credit for a good song.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 3:18pm

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• Much funnier when I read it right

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:24pm

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• one of those "I'd rather chew my arm off than wake this person up" moments?

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 11:08am

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• HA. That is some funny shit.

  Submitted by KneeHigh on Dec 17, 10 at 11:00pm

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• You are SOOO bummed!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 6:37pm

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• Or maybe he needs a drink... Lol

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:24pm

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• AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA thats f-n GREAT!!!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 12:08pm

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• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_QDGdbg-QQ&feature=related

  Submitted by crazyman217 on May 24, 11 at 5:18pm

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• Sucks to suck

  Submitted by amypost8 on Dec 20, 11 at 2:46am

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• Hahahahahahahaha! If this actually happened that guy is legit!

  Submitted by JV33 on May 23, 10 at 6:04pm

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