some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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