the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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