Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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