yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm always down for nudity.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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