I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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