You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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