She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
