After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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