Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
