wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
