Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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