There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
