there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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