I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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