You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
